http://www.carriagetownenews.com en-us Copyright CNHI All Rights Reserved. 5 http://www.carriagetownenews.com/tongueincheek/local_story_182151845.html Mon, 30 Jun 2008 15:18:00 EDT http://www.carriagetownenews.com/tongueincheek/local_story_182151845.html Tongue in Cheek http://www.carriagetownenews.com/tongueincheek/local_story_175172436.html Mon, 23 Jun 2008 17:23:00 EDT http://www.carriagetownenews.com/tongueincheek/local_story_175172436.html http://www.carriagetownenews.com/tongueincheek/local_story_168082620.html Mon, 16 Jun 2008 08:24:00 EDT http://www.carriagetownenews.com/tongueincheek/local_story_168082620.html Birthdays can be painful http://www.carriagetownenews.com/tongueincheek/local_story_161111318.html Mon, 09 Jun 2008 11:11:00 EDT http://www.carriagetownenews.com/tongueincheek/local_story_161111318.html Back in the day when I went to middle-school dances, absolutely NOBODY danced; there was no dancing, and EVERYBODY stood around staring at their feet and looking extra stupid. And if ANY boy dared to attempt to get near ANY girl, their bodies would act like the opposite sides of magnets and the invisible boy-girl force fields which would be generated would repel both of them back to opposite sides of the gymnasium. Let me tell you, back then, funerals had more dancing than our middle-school dances. http://www.carriagetownenews.com/tongueincheek/local_story_154140847.html Mon, 02 Jun 2008 14:06:00 EDT http://www.carriagetownenews.com/tongueincheek/local_story_154140847.html Ever been around someone who talks (I’m about to pound down very hard on the keyboard) REALLY LOUD! And if you attempt to have more than a 3-second conversation with them, you run the risk of coming out of their office with no skin.These people don’t need a phone. All they have to do is open a window, talk “normally,” and people as far away as China will be covering their ears and screaming in tympanic terror. http://www.carriagetownenews.com/tongueincheek/local_story_148093058.html Tue, 27 May 2008 09:31:00 EDT http://www.carriagetownenews.com/tongueincheek/local_story_148093058.html Men NEVER try to change women. BUT women ALWAYS try to change men. And when a man chooses a woman, it’s because he likes the way she looks, acts, and thinks, and he has absolutely NO plan to change her. But when a woman chooses a man, it’s because she does not likes the way he looks, acts, and thinks, and she has absolutely EVERY plan to change him. http://www.carriagetownenews.com/tongueincheek/local_story_140142411.html Mon, 19 May 2008 14:23:00 EDT http://www.carriagetownenews.com/tongueincheek/local_story_140142411.html It just isn’t fair. I kill myself to have a good lawn. I fertilize; I mulch; I seed; I sow; I’m busy with the lime all the time. You name it and I do it, double, in triplicate! BUT my lawn still looks like it had been descended upon by a tribe of terrorist goats wearing oversized cleats. However, my neighbor, who DOES NOTHING to enhance his lawn, well, other than riding his lawnmower around while drinking beer and relieving himself on his lawn, yet he has a yard so thick and plush I would not be surprised to see Tarzan swing by on a vine. http://www.carriagetownenews.com/tongueincheek/local_story_133141458.html Mon, 12 May 2008 14:09:00 EDT http://www.carriagetownenews.com/tongueincheek/local_story_133141458.html Other than the fact that I can’t figure out anything on my own, my brain is perfectly calibrated. Case in point: my wife asked me to go to the grocery store. http://www.carriagetownenews.com/tongueincheek/local_story_127090636.html Tue, 06 May 2008 09:03:00 EDT http://www.carriagetownenews.com/tongueincheek/local_story_127090636.html Well, ladies and gentlemen, it is time once again for another rendition of “Ask Mr. Marriage Councilor.” But before we get started, I’m sensing that you are asking yourself the following: “Just were does Drury get off giving out marriage information? Who does he think he is? And what qualifications does he have to be telling people how to have a good marriage?” http://www.carriagetownenews.com/tongueincheek/local_story_119140340.html Mon, 28 Apr 2008 14:04:00 EDT http://www.carriagetownenews.com/tongueincheek/local_story_119140340.html It just so happens that in life there are those who can read and follow directions, like most women, and then there are those, like most men, who could not find the bathroom in their very own home even if being led there, by the hand, by a qualified search and rescue team.