Tongue in Cheek - CarriageTowneNews.com, Kingston, NH

May 6, 2008: Join Us For Another Rendition of Mr. Marriage Councilor
Well, ladies and gentlemen, it is time once again for another rendition of “Ask Mr. Marriage Councilor.” But before we get started, I’m sensing that you are asking yourself the following: “Just were does Drury get off giving out marriage information? Who does he think he is? And what qualifications does he have to be telling people how to have a good marriage?”
April 29, 2008: Forever Lost
It just so happens that in life there are those who can read and follow directions, like most women, and then there are those, like most men, who could not find the bathroom in their very own home even if being led there, by the hand, by a qualified search and rescue team.
April 22, 2008: Phone Phobia
Most of your general public is afraid of sharks, homicidal maniacs chasing you down a dark alleyway, and tofu. I’m afraid of the phone. I don’t know when I developed this particular phone phobia, but the more I research it, the more it becomes clear that fear of the phone is ONLY a dread developed by men.
April 15, 2008: When Nature Calls
Hypothetically speaking, marriage is about two people becoming as one. HA! What a bunch of baloney, if I’ve ever heard baloney, this is baloney, and I know baloney, and believe me this is BALONEY!
April 8, 2008: Slammer
Today’s topic is: “SLAMMERS.” Slammers are individuals who slam every door (cabinets, refrigerator, broom closet, toilet seat, etc) hard enough to register on the Richter Scale by using the same amount of slamming power normally associate with someone attempting to squish a tarantula they suddenly found walking on their shoulder.
April 1, 2008: Password Plus
Sometimes working in an office environment is not all it is cracked up to be. Our workplace, for example, has its very own certified clipboard-totting computer weenie
AAA: Automotive Aggravation Association
There is a nasty Nazi-like automotive organization out there which mandates that its members MUST drive SLOWLY when in front of me. And when I use the word “SLOWLY” I’m talking about driving at significantly reduced speeds which are normally only achieved by certain species of deceased earthworms.
March 18, 2008: Oh, Bother
I’m one of those people who are classified as "ever so slightly neurotic," which is a euphemistic statement meaning "big giant major pain in the butt," as evidenced by the fact that I notice and hear everything, and everything I notice and hear bothers me, to include when all the blades of grass in the front yard are not perfectly lined up at a 65.432 degree angle with respect to the axis of the earth.
March 11, 2008: When the chips are down try NODOZ
I am now totally convinced that we humans will watch absolutely anything on television, as evidenced by the popularity of the Travel Channel’s “National Poker Tour.” And if you think watching people play golf on television is a major cure for sleeplessness (e.g. watch someone hit a little white dimpled ball (small yawn) watch someone walk after a little white dimpled ball (medium yawn complete with rubbing your eyes),

Search Site: