A lot of the time I am just not feeling well. I have compared the nausea I have to that of 24 hour morning sickness. The cramps to that of early labor. The sciatica to pregnancy pains. I can"t describe the incredible joint pain that I have, that comes and goes from my fingers to my knees to my hips, so I grit my teeth and ignore it. When the pain hits in flashing bolts from nowhere, like an ice pick to my side of my head, I sometimes react by crying out and I want to reach out and hit something myself, to give the couch or the table a swat, an automatic reaction to the incredible searing pain that goes through my body. I have had days where I sweat for no reason - the sweat just seeps out of the pores on my face in rivers. At night, I sometimes wake to change my clothes several times. I can have full body tremors and different parts of me twitch at almost all times, sometimes making it difficult to sleep at night, as exhausted as I am. My muscles bother me with deep pain, traveling from leg to leg, feeling like they are being eaten from the inside. The soles of my feet ache unbearably, the skin on my back burns. I am confused, sometimes I can't follow conversation, and I have memory gaps. Most of the time, I live with a terrible haze in my head - lyme sufferers know this as the "lyme haze". I have lived with it for so long; I've only just started to recognize it now that I've started to begin to have some haze free days. Most of the time, I have a stabbing pain in my legs, and it can be difficult to walk more than 200 meters or a flight of stairs.