Is It Just Me?
Upon Deaf Ears it Falls: Part II — The Sequel
An Open Letter to American Parents:
Dearest parents of our nation's youth:
Feel like your kids don't listen to you? They don't listen to you. Feel like they don't care about anyone but themselves? They don't care about anyone but themselves. Feel like the only way to get through to them is to scream and punish? You might be right, but consider the possibility that you're not — if only for a few minutes.
Your kids, particularly those in or entering their teen years, are not the enemy — they just seem that way most of the time. You tell them things over and over, yet it doesn't seem to sink in. You give them examples of the stupid things you yourself did when you were young in the hope that they'll learn from your mistakes. They won't, just like you didn't when your parents tried the same tactics with you lo those many years ago. You had to learn the hard way and, sadly, so will they.
It's in our nature to want to spare our children any pain and suffering that usually comes along with life's harsh lessons. Unfortunately, if they don't get burned when they touch a hot stove, they're likely to touch it again. My kids and yours will make mistakes and, aside from advising beforehand and comforting (or perhaps punishing) them afterward, you have to stand back a bit and let them fall. If you overprotect them, particularly in their mid-late teen years, they'll be due a fall of greater magnitude later on in life when Mommy and Daddy aren't there to bail them out.
Now, to understand today's teenagers, you have to try to remember what it's like to be one — not an easy task for most parents over 30. We tend to forget what's important to a teenage mind and what it's like to be surrounded by other teens. Of paramount importance is acceptance. "Be cool or be cast out". Peer pressure is incredibly strong when you're 15 or 16 years old and it will make you do things you might not otherwise do. And after a full day of dealing with seemingly brain-damaged teens, your own teen doesn't need to come home to stressed-out parents who are digging into every corner of their child's personal life. You need to communicate with your teen openly and honestly, but if they're not prepared to do this, nothing you do will force them to share their thoughts with you — you need to do it on their terms or it just won't happen. And if you don't talk with your kids, someone else will; someone who may not have their best interests at heart.
Before things get out of control, you need to know what's going on in your child's life. Where are they after school, who do they hang out with, what are they doing, how are their grades — all very important things to know. But as their parent, much of what you do dictates what they do. Does your kid have their own TV in their room? Do they have access to whatever channels they'd like to watch? Do they have their own computer behind closed doors? Does it have its own Internet connection? I would bet every penny I have that you don't know half of what they're doing online. Take a few minutes sometime and check out Facebook.com and Myspace.com to see if they're listed. Or better still, fire up their computer when they're not home and look at their browser history to see what websites they've visited — you will be shocked. Perform a search for pictures and movies on their hard drive — again, you will likely be very surprised.
And for those of you out there who feel this is an invasion of privacy, please keep in mind that you are their parent, not their friend, their lawyer or their landlord. These are your kids and it's your responsibility to take care of and protect them — even from themselves. If you still refuse, I pity your children. Once your child is out of school and not "mooching" off you, they can afford their own privacy. Until then, they're living in YOUR house using YOUR computer and YOUR Internet connection — and if there's anything illegal on that computer, guess who goes to jail for it. Give up? Sounds like you may have done that already.
We're not perfect, no parents are. We will screw up now and again, much like our kids do — with just a little more style, we hope. Our kids want their independence, they want to express themselves, they want to fit in. While this is all well and fine, we are still their parents — if we don't want them to dress like sluts or slobs, they don't. Period. They can bitch and moan, cry and complain, but if they're living in our homes, the buck stops with us, not them. Children already have far more rights than their parents do in this country, but it's time we exercise our parental responsibilities before we end up in a world full of crybabies looking for someone to blame for their miserable lives.
I'm addressing those "someones" right now — you know who you are. Fix it soon or do us all a favor and keep your head buried in the sand until you suffocate.
- Is It Just Me?
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- Is it Just Me? May 14, 2009
- April 27, 2009
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- Is it Just Me? April 16, 2009
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- March 19, 2009
- Sight For Sore Eyes
- March 12, 2009
- Couldn’t Have Said It Better: Winter
- March 5, 2009
- My IM
- February 26, 2009
- Take Me Out of the Ball Game
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- Out of Time
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- Never Too Old For Rock ‘n' Roll
- January 26, 2009
- Behind The Mask
- January 21, 2009
- Whatta Maroon
- January 15, 2009
- The Hills Are Alive
- January 8, 2009
- Happy New Year
- January 1, 2009
- E-lack-tricity
